- ‘Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’: Lisbeth Salander makes my day
- Energy Up! A celebrity trainer gets kids to eat right
- What if Anna Wintour dressed the King of Queens?
- The Barnes Museum: Bill Clinton views Modigliani, falls in love
- Getting married? Seven reasons to change your name–or not
- Thank you for not commenting on my lunch
- Five things I learned from Emily and Libby Post
- Happiness! Who needs it? Naomi Wolf makes her case
- What Larry King could learn from Elizabeth Taylor
- Healthy Living Update: Fried chicken & chocolate, here I come!
Energy Up! website.
Women who choose to adopt their husbands’ surnames may be penalized in the job market, a new study from the Netherlands suggests… The authors did several experiments involving university students’ perceptions of hypothetical women — imaginary women who were described identically, except for their marital status and decision to keep or change their surnames. The students generally viewed women who took their husbands’ surnames as being more stereotypically feminine. Participants thought that a hypothetical woman who took her husband’s surname was “more caring, more dependent, less intelligent, more emotional, less competent, and less ambitious in comparison with a woman who kept her own name.” Women, Work and a Name Change - Economix Blog - NYTimes.com.Well, there's a whole lot of sexism going on here. But barring those issues, let's look at the case for and against changing your given name: REASONS TO CHANGE 1) YOUR HUSBAND HAS A BETTER NAME THAN YOU DO-BETTER AS IN, EASIER TO PRONOUNCE, EASIER TO REMEMBER, EASIER TO MAKE A DINNER RESERVATION. This was not an issue for me-is there any advantage to choosing Carcaterra vs. Toepfer? And don't even think about a hyphenate-can you imagine saddling a kid with the last name, Carcaterra-Toepfer? or Toepfer-Carcaterra? That's an extra 30 minutes on the phone, every time you book an airline ticket. 2) YOUR KIDS WILL NOT BE EMBARRASSED AT SCHOOL. "Everybody thinks you're divorced," my kids would wail, complaining that their teachers didn't understand why I was called Toepfer, not Carcaterra. (Come on-it's not 1932. Get with the program, Teach.) 3) YOU CAN PICK UP THEATER TICKETS, DRY CLEANING and anything else you care to carry that is registered under your husband's name. REASONS NOT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: 1) IT TAKES EFFORT. You have to switch your bank accounts, Social Security cards, all kinds of crap you don't want to do. 2) YOU HAVE PROFESSIONAL ACHIEVEMENTS under your birth name, which might be lost in transition. 3) YOU WANT TO KEEP A SEPARATE CREDIT RATING. Hey-who knows what he'll be up to? Or what loans you, alone, might need. 4) YOU MIGHT GET A DIVORCE--I know, you don't want to think of this on your wedding eve. But maybe take a time out and consider, if the worst happens, and all romance fails, do you really want to be walking around with the last name of a guy you despise? Marriages can come and go, but a name change might be forever.
The list of banned foods is substantial – American cheese, canned fruit, flavored yogurt, white bread, peanut butter made with sugar – even Oreo cookies. And there are no exceptions to the rule, said Nanci Aiken, the school’s director. “You don’t need a cake,” she said. “They can have nuts, or fruit.” “I feel like the Wicked Witch of the West a lot of times, but it makes such a big difference,” she said. “When you eat sugar, especially by itself like a candy bar, you get a rush and crash. An apple will not give you instant gratification or a rush, but it lasts longer.” School Bans American Cheese, Oreos | The FOX Nation.I don’t doubt that the school's director is correct in her praise of the apple, and for the most part, I support the many attempts to improve the eating habits of American youth. Michelle Obama’s White House garden? Go for it—but also note that on her daughters’ spring break, the First Lady took them to a Brooklyn pizza parlor known for lines around the block. No, Michelle is smart enough to know that rigid adherence to whatever is currently deemed a “healthy” diet is likely to produce a generation hell-bent on eating junk. Show me the four-year-old who’s denied any sweets at all, and I’ll show you the kid throwing up in the corner, the first chance he gets to overdose on chocolate. So here is what I wish for those students in Arizona, deprived as they are of such grammar school staples as Girl Scout Cookies and Hostess Cupcakes: Learn to love whole grains and vegetables, legumes and nuts, fish and herbal tea. Every so often, allow yourself an unhealthy treat. But when you go out to eat with somebody else…keep your judgments off his plate.
"Libby was very open minded, fair and flexible," said daughter-in-law Peggy Post on Tuesday. "She was full of common sense and kindness. Not at all pretentious and not at all stuffy." News from The Associated Press.Of course she wasn't stuffy! Post started advising us on what to say, how to act, during the '60s-when etiquette was the last thing on anybody's mind. Today, when the web has created a whole new terrain of etiquette, how would she respond? Certainly not by posting booze-guzzling photos on her Facebook page-or even by sharing 1,243 photos of her grandchildren's escapades. Though she was not born a Post, Libby eagerly joined the family business. Her advice wasn't double-edged or snarky: Sincerity is a Post trademark. So here is what I, a casual reader, learned from these Post mavens: 1) HOW TO SET A TABLE. This might seem inconsequential, but think about it-what would happen if we didn't know that the fork is on the left, the knife on the right-to say nothing of that endless progression of formal dinner silverware? You can't just place them at random, according to your whim. Chaos would ensue. 2) WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEBODY DIES. This is a big one. There's the wake and/or memorial service, sitting shiva, various religions' periods of mourning. Your best friend's grief is one thing-but how to handle the grief of a coworker or your sister's aunt? The Posts were there, sympathy notes in hand. 3) HOW TO ADDRESS A SENATOR. Or Ambassador. Or Queen. I mean, this doesn't pop up often, but when it does-you got to be ready. Small talk at hand. 4) THE AWFUL WEDDING INVITATION. How to answer? What to give? And just how long do you have to get it there? 5) MANNERS ARE ABOUT KINDNESS. It's easy to equate etiquette with snobbery, but at root, how you behave indicates your respect for others. _Any _others. How sad that in the era of Tea Partyers and Birthers, late night gabbers and congressional grabbers, we seem to have lost that anchor, to be drifting away from kindness, from putting others at ease, toward the screeching world of reality TV.
an interesting piece in the April issue of More magazine, debunking Marcus Buckingham's recent book, _Find Your Strongest Life_, which concluded that American women today are more miserable than ever-thanks, apparently, to their hard-won social and economic freedom. In her piece, Wolf argues that the whole point of feminism was to unsettle the status quo, to give women the freedom to challenge restrictions we had previously taken for granted. If women are less satisfied, it means they are less complacent. She also suggests that we need to move from a feminism rooted in individualism toward one more focused on community. There have been tremendous advances for women in my lifetime, but I have to say attaining happiness never seemed a primary goal for most women I know. We set out to lead richer, more emancipated lives, and despite the Founding Fathers' phrase, freedom isn't an automatic prescription for personal joy. Wolf, deeply influenced by recent trips to developing nations, proposes an interesting challenge to the conventional concept of happiness-for both men and women:
So where does all this stoking of feminine discontent leave us? In a great place to learn about real contentment. All of this could be an opportunity for us to be not just freer (a value cherished by all waves of feminism) but also wiser. It would be salutary for women (and men, for that matter) in the West to grow out of their 40-year adolescence—their long, eye-rolling whine—and to actually take the next step toward true maturity. First, let’s rethink the definition of happiness. Most people quote the Declaration of Independence’s phrase “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” as if it means that being personally fulfilled is the promise of America. But personal gratification is not what happiness meant in the eighteenth century. It had much more of a connotation of the fortunate condition of using one’s fullest capacities in the service of a larger good. Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin and even Jane Austen all use happiness in this sense, rather than in the sense of personal gratification. That is a nice place to start redefining. What Price Happiness? - Page 5 - MORE MagazineYou can read more of Naomi's thoughts-and the predictable backlash to her words in the comment section- in my Speakeasy report on the lunch. Which leads us to another question: Why is feminism a dirty word-to so many women, as well as men?
report from_ Cooking Light_-the Southern bible of low calorie cuisine-that hey, chicken skin isn't such a bad thing. Fry it up-in canola oil-and it might even qualify as health food. I immediately sent this link whirling to my fried chicken-loving pals, who, by the way, swear by Popeye's (Colonel Sanders is the runner up), if they can't make Mom's themselves. Then, a new study in Germany concluded that a bar of chocolate a day will slash your risk of heart disease and stroke. Whoa-what comes next, deep fried mallomars? But wait a minute. Turn the page, and here's another study: Fatty foods-hey, wouldn't that be chocolate and fried chicken?-are as addictive as cocaine and heroin. Cocaine and heroin? Did they throw Ecstasy into the mix? Well, let's look at this more closely. Studying rats-I'm actually beginning to feel sorry for rats, despite the number I see on the New York City subway tracks-the researchers fed the little critters a diet of bacon, sausage and cheesecake. (Mmmm..sounds like rodent heaven to me.) Then, a second set of rats-similar to those infamous dieting monkeys-was given healthy fare. Okay-so the junk food rats ate twice as much. Even when-and how cruel is this, even though I'm not a fan of rats-they were zapped with bolts of electricity, the junk food eaters simply refused to stop eating junk. Not only that, but when deprived of the fatty foods, they lay down and refused to eat at all. No carrots and spinach for these guys! Dunkin' Donuts all the way! Once again, science has led us into a mind-boggling maze. The rats, accustomed to such tests, will find their way out. Can we say the same?